To turn

To turn, perhaps to begin
Wondering as always,
And what do I have?

Nothing fancy
Not educated and wordy and complex
Not much to make you chew and grapple

This self
This place
These eyes

The very place I've always had
The very block
of starting and stumbling

Have I begun before today?
Have all these years been so guarded
by everything I'm not and never will be?

To turn, perhaps a quarter turn
Wondering as always
If the guard will give up the ghost